Category: Growth

What’s In Your Cup?

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It’s been nearly 3 weeks since I wrote. Its been very difficult to write for some reasons but I’m glad I’m back now :-). 

Today’s title is a phrase that has been on my mind and heart for a few weeks. During my last visit to the salon, my stylist- Caroline spoke to me again about my persistently dry hair. I defended myself saying that I had been moisturising my hair daily (twice actually) as she had advised. Also I had even changed my hair product to a ‘better’ one. She later asked me about my fluid intake. I told her I go through seasons where I drink a few glasses of water per day however, there are also those times when I hardly drink a glass of water in a day although I may drink tea about 3 times in a day.

Caroline said I need to drink enough water (not tea or juice or some of that diluted junk I feed on) everyday. She concluded that I may be dehydrated. My thought was “moisturising my hair is one thing but I also need to ‘moisturise’ from inside”. I took a one week challenge to drink 2 litres of water daily and for that week, my hair felt healthier and I barely felt that annoying itch on my scalp. The additional benefit obviously included the many trips to the loo – which is great for my legs by the way :-). Basically I felt good from within and my hair was grateful too.

My sister recently moved from an apartment to another and this was her thought regarding her former place: “U know what  learnt from my previous flat? When you see the building you immediately fall in love with it. It looks sooo perfect. But when you get in you realise it isn’t perfect after all. I thank God for the place but I didn’t enjoy my stay there because there was no reception anywhere. So relating that to our everyday lives – not all that glitters is gold and sometimes we need to look beyond the physical and look within.” 

My thought was how easy it is for us to focus so much on what we and others see of us rather than who we are. We want to be happy and we want to look good for the world to see, but how often do we stop to ask “who am I?”. Happiness is great but joy brings  true satisfaction. It is an easy trap to fall into to admire someone because of what they have achieved in life. If only you know the baggage they may be carrying within, you may change your mind. Unless you are willing to sell your soul for temporal things.

This truth applies to many areas of life – relationships, sometimes we make choices based on what we see or want rather than who a person is. In challenges, sometimes we see our problem rather than the power which is at work in us to make changes. I often find people who try to use abs belts to get rid of belly fat funny. You may have seen the adverts with the models standing there with their flat stomach and tight six packs. Please do not fall for these ads. Let me tell you two secrets: Firstly, the models did not get  their abs from using the product. Secondly, strap that belt around your waist 24hours a day, 7 days a week and you will get no abs unless you adopt a balanced and healthy lifestyle which would include some abs exercises. How will a belt strapped to your body make changes when the problem is deep beneath your skin? LoL.

To make this clearer, dress up a donkey, feed it the best of fodder, in fact, brush its fur everyday it will never become a horse.  It will only become a pampered donkey. Still a donkey. Feed a chicken magic corn everyday and it would never become an eagle. An eagle is an eagle and a chicken is chicken. I was applying moisturisers on my hair and scalp, but I was still dehydrated so my hair and scalp remained dry. We should be more concerned about who we are rather than what we are. Not to say that the latter is not important however the former is more significant and lasting. If I gave you a golden chalice filled with poison, would you drink? No. What if the chalice was made of gold from the garden of Eden?  Erm, no. Why not? Because the drink is harmful. All of us are like this golden chalice filled with a drink. The chalice is what people see however what people taste of you is the liquid in it.

Have you ever encountered a person who is so good looking and perfect to look at but when they behave badly they do not appear so good looking anymore? If you have, that’s what I am talking about. Otherwise what I am saying is your character is who you are, what you show to the world is your personality. No matter how great your personality is, a poor character will cause you and others many problems. 

What you make up and put up for people to see will never alter the person you are within. Its time to focus more on the person within. you Many times we try to create the perfect image for the world to see however true beauty lies within. Create a new you from the inside out today.

Look within x



(c) 2010 Arielle Ajibade 2010

If you hate the fruit, cut the tree down

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Lord of mercy! This was how I felt after a conversation i held with two people today. One of those conversations that start and then a few minutes later you wish you had walked out of the room before it began. Man must now even be discerning enough to know when something is about to happen…lol. Anyway, somewhere along the conversation, I had to keep quiet as I realised we were not going to agree. Although I cannot write the details of the conversation it made me wonder on some things. Sometimes we encounter some attitudes, habits and opinions that make you want to scream. Sometimes, we even observe some in ourselves that make us cringe. Those things that make you ask “why are you saying, behaving or acting like this?!”  I think even Jesus encountered some of our funny thought pattern. You may have heard Him ask his disciples questions like “where is your faith?” or “do you still not understand?” and “how could you not know I was not talking about bread!” lol and to Peter “get behind me Satan!”

I have often found myself trying to correct some of my bad habits or to try to help others see that a behaviour is not appropriate however today, a phrase that rocked my thinking a few years ago popped right back in my head “if you hate the fruit, cut the tree down.” You cannot get rid of a bad habit by dealing with that habit. You need to go to the root of it. Every wrong thinking is attached to a wrong belief. Renew your mind says Romans 12:2.Many of the things we deal with in our daily lives are the result of a wrong belief  system. Our thoughts are like trees growing in our minds, and given the right conditions, they would bear fruit – in our decisions and attitudes to people and to life. If a tree is bad, the fruit will be bad. The problem is not the fruit but the tree. Many times, we want to deal with the fruits by plucking them off the tree but we forget that someday, given the right conditions and in the right season the tree will blossom again and those fruits will come out. Have you ever wondered why we are asked to crucify the flesh? There is no cure for the flesh, it has to be killed. Unless you pull a tree down, it will bear fruit every year. Now imagine how annoying that would be lol.

My conclusion after my discussion? The word of God is my plumb line.

Make a tree bad and the fruit will be bad, make a tree good and you will enjoy the lovely fruit or the drink from it. So if you hate the fruit, pull the tree down.

…Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God – Romans 12:2