Often times I wonder if I am obsessed with myself. I am always watching my weight, my skin, hair etc. Whenever I notice a spot or increase in weight, I am immediately concerned and do all I can to deal with it. I have to say well done to me though because I am doing much better than years ago so. We have to learn to celebrate progress no matter how little it is. A few years ago, I was so obsessed with my weight that I would measure myself with a tape every morning when I woke up just to see if I had gained weight overnight! Then I’ll spend the whole day telling my sister how I have gained a centimetre around my waistline. I have since moved on from that now I stand on the weighing machine a few times a week. I am unsure if this is normal but if it isn’t, it is fine -we all have a form of OCD :-).
I think its important to examine ourselves once in a while. However it should go beyond our physical bodies. I had a heart examination yesterday. Someone said that God brings trespasses our way that we may learn to trust in His love for us and to forgive others. You know there’s a difference between pretending that something never happened and knowing it happened but being unaffected by the event. Healing, strength and restoration only comes when you can admit that it happened but you are looking to the future.
A Chinese proverb says you cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. In other words, as long as I am human, I will continue to come across those who will step on my toes however its up to me to keep my heart healthy. So I found myself asking these questions: “how do I forgive” and “how do I know I have forgiven?” I found the answer in the Lord’s prayer: “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. In order words, Forgive others in the same manner that He forgave you. Or as you want Him to forgive you, forgive others!
So how did the Lord do it for me? He loved me. First He sent His Son to pay the price required for my mistakes through His death. Even whilst suffering at the hands of men, He made excuses for me by saying I did not know what I was doing. Then He sent me help (the Holy Spirit) so that I would not repeat my mistakes. And if by some chance I do fall, He’s there cheering me on and encouraging me to get up and keep walking.
So I guess if I could do this for another, perhaps I can say I have forgiven. If I love them irrespective of; if I could give toward their need even when it requires sacrificing something important to me, maybe then I can say I have moved on and my hair is nest free. The best thing about God’s forgiveness is that He forgives willingly. Not because He has no choice but because He wants to. Love gives the benefit of the doubt so lets make excuses for each other’s failures and make the choice to move forward.
Irrespective of the magnitude of hurt that has come our way, we have all done much more to another – God that is. I know I have hurt Him in more ways than anyone has ever me. So if He can forgive my many trespasses, I should be able to let go of the few from others.
Someone may say they have been hurt very bad and its very difficult to let go. Take heart because sometimes, change may not happen overnight but if we take it one step at a time and continue to walk we may arrive at our destination…as long as we want to and do not give up. I want to.
This one’s dedicated to the One who loved me and gave all for me and to my very dear ones who continually make excuses for my many failures…
I love you xx
(c) 2010 Arielle Ajibade