Category: Relationships

Destination – Love x

Contributor1 Comment

Often times I wonder if I am obsessed with myself. I am  always watching my weight, my skin, hair etc. Whenever I notice a spot or increase in weight, I am immediately concerned and do all I can to deal with it. I have to say well done to me though because I am doing much better than years ago so. We have to learn to celebrate progress no matter how little it is. A few years ago, I was so obsessed with my weight that I would measure myself with a tape every morning when I woke up just to see if I had gained weight overnight! Then I’ll spend the whole day telling my sister how I have gained a centimetre around my waistline. I have since moved on from that now I stand on the weighing machine a few times a week. I am unsure if this is normal but if it isn’t, it is fine -we all have a form of OCD :-).

I think its important to examine ourselves once in a while. However it should go beyond our physical bodies. I had a heart examination yesterday. Someone said that God brings trespasses our way that we may learn to trust in His love for us and to forgive others. You know there’s a difference between pretending that something never happened and knowing it happened but being unaffected by the event. Healing, strength  and restoration only comes when you can admit that it happened but you are looking to the future.

A Chinese proverb says you cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair.  In other words, as long as I am human, I will continue to come across those who will step on my toes however its up to me to keep my heart healthy. So I found myself asking  these questions: “how do I forgive” and “how do I know I have forgiven?” I found the answer in the Lord’s prayer: “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. In order words, Forgive others in the same manner that He forgave you. Or as you want Him to forgive you, forgive others!


So how did the Lord do it for me? He loved me. First He sent His Son to pay the price required for my mistakes through His death. Even whilst suffering at the hands of men, He made excuses for me by saying I did not know what I was doing. Then He sent me help (the Holy Spirit) so that I would not repeat my mistakes. And if by some chance I do fall, He’s there cheering me on and encouraging me to get up and keep walking.
So I guess if I could do this for another, perhaps I can say I have forgiven. If I love them irrespective of; if I could give toward their need even when it requires sacrificing something important to me, maybe then I can say I have moved on and my hair is nest free. The best thing about God’s forgiveness is that He forgives willingly. Not because He has no choice but because He wants to. Love gives the benefit of the doubt so lets make excuses for each other’s failures and make the choice to move forward.
Irrespective of the magnitude of hurt that has come our way, we have all done much more to another – God that is. I know I have hurt Him in more ways than anyone has ever me. So if He can forgive my many trespasses, I should be able to let go of the few from others.
Someone may say they have been hurt very bad and its very difficult to let go. Take heart because sometimes, change may not happen overnight but if we take it one step at a time  and continue to walk we may arrive at our destination…as long as we want to and do not give up. I want to.
This one’s dedicated to the One who loved me and gave all for me and to my very dear ones who continually make excuses for my many failures…


I love you xx

(c) 2010 Arielle Ajibade

O What A Friend I have In You

ContributorLeave a comment

Today I woke up with this song by Israel and New Breed “You’ve been a friend“. I have woken up with this song a few times in the last couple of weeks or so.  Each time, I’ve found myself wondering on my friendship with Jesus. How He’s kept me and been faithful. I have been part of those that danced to the song “what a friend we have in Jesus”.  I thought about how often I praise Him for being The Constant in my life. Always there, always faithful, a Rock I can lean on at all times, forever catching me when I fall. You know the One who remains when everyone else runs away. The friend that we all long to be and to have. Today was different this song meant different to me and I think I finally got the message! Is it not funny how we often misinterpret the message. We are who Christ is to us to someone else. And today He was talking to me!

Ok, so what brought on this epiphany? Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with my ‘bible buddy’ :-).We’ve been studying Mark and BB shared a message that really touched my heart.  BB spoke about the paralytic – healed by Jesus because of four men who were determined at all cost to get him his healing. These men defied the crowd and someone else’s roof (lol) just to let the paralytic through.

Where am I going with this?  I have always thought of myself as a faithful person. One who sticks by a friend at all times. However, today, I was reminded of a friendship that had recently gone sour. I felt I had done all I could to keep things flowing and I was no longer willing to make excuses for my friend or go that extra mile to fix things. I felt let down again and I was not going to budge one more time…but today, that changed. When will Jesus give up on me? Never. When will He say to me “Arielle, I have had enough of your mess” -erm, never. When will He turn around and say “You hurt me so much Arielle and I cannot bring myself to love you again like I used to. You know, we can’t be friends like that again”. Erm that’s a tough one I think…no it isnt. Never. So I ask myself, why give up on my friend?Is it ok to change my mind about a friendship and say I can go no further?

Jesus says as I have loved you, love yourselves. If He shows grace, I ought to extend the same to my friend. This brings me to the story of Peter’s denial of Jesus. Peter denied that Jesus was his friend when he was arrested. I want to believe the Peter was afraid. We all do things for varying reasons, even those things we do not mean.  I have been a peter at one point or the other to a friend or someone I dearly love.  Sometimes, those that love us let us down and sometimes we let our loved ones down. I believe what is key is to look forward. I have made mistakes but what matters more is the desire to correct those things. I have felt let down by some friends but I believe they did not mean to hurt me. I believe my focus should be on where we are going and not on what has not been. And although some walls are more difficult to mend than others, what matters is that we try. If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again :-)

I want to be like these men who did everything possible to get the paralytic to Jesus. I want to give my all to relationships so that in the end perhaps a friend will turn to me and say “O what a friend I have in you”. Jesus did the same for me and its my delight to extend this to my friends too. 

I am committed to you xx